Dining out, in the British Paradise Islands

from The Essential Paradise

from Doc. 2.32.

Eateries, in the British Paradise Islands
Differentiating amongst the types of dining establishments in the Paradise Islands can be problematic as many may seem to fit more than one category. The primary distinctions seem to be in the similarities shared by unique visiting-dining experiences and the hours each is open for business. Most popular eateries are located near public transportation or within an easy walk of visitor and local lodgings.

Caveats
Legal tender in the territory is the UK pound; other currencies are not accepted, even as tips. Gratuities for wait staff are left entirely to the discretion of the patron; 10-12% is considered appropriate and will be welcomed. Wait staff in tourist areas tend to receive adequate salaries and perform their duties with cheerful competence.

The Western tourist is reminded that wait staff, even in fine restaurants, may be as young as 15 (legal age for handling and consuming alcohol) and that eatery managers, locals and law enforcement view harassment and inappropriate advances, including unclean language, with disfavour. Under the decency codes, harassment is a class-2 misdemeanour and may be punishable with fines (and summary eviction from the establishment, often subject to a no-refund policy).

Fine dining
Sedate dining house, typically known by its service, civilised atmosphere, entrée specialities and excellent quality with expenses to match. Fare includes dinner with drinks and desserts. Focus is in fine cuisine in a variety of styles made to order, rich food, quiet atmosphere.

Hours may be from 17.00-21.00; rarely later or earlier. Proper dress required.

The bistro
Often mistaken for the café, the bistro is slightly upscale in terms of fare, atmosphere, and cost, tailored especially to those seeking a hearty dining experience amongst friends in a spirited, cordial atmosphere with no fuss or formality. Fare includes casual lunch and supper, alcoholic beverages, rich desserts, all in generous portions. Recorded music may be provided, rarely quietly.

Hours may be from 13.00-21.00. Public attire required.

The café
The café features brunch through casual supper, hearty food in rather small portions for a quick and pleasant meal indoors. Most serve beer, liquor and wine but only as an aside to food; some places will require a food order before providing drinks. Focus is on casual socialising and light food. Recorded music may be provided by a local radio station or popular CDs.

Hours may be from 10.00-22.00; though many are open for breakfast and some (i.e., Earle’s on Devon Road in Somerset) may be open all night. Public attire generally required; some cafés, typically near beaches, have been known to overlook swimwear or to allow exceptions.

The pub
The typical locals’ haunt, modelled on traditional English pubs, usually located away from tourist areas. The focal point is the bar (at which unescorted women are not permitted) booths and smallish tables, typically table service is provided for drinks and supper. Darts boards and snooker tables are common; music will be provided by a jukebox or possibly a local live act. Patrons under 13 are generally prohibited without parents; but in neighbourhood pubs where locals tend to know each other, someone will usually step up and acknowledge neighbourly responsibility for a well-mannered child and the case is settled. Fare includes alcoholic beverages, predominantly beer, as well as sandwiches and snacks. Packaged alcoholic goods are sold for takeaway.

Hours may be from 17.00-23.00; few are open later or earlier. Public dress required; exceptions may be made but typically only for familiar locals.

The teahouse
The tea shop, blending those of the Orient and of England, is staple of Paradisian culture, present just about everywhere, each tending to be small, locally-oriented, cosy and rather quaint. Servers may wear traditional costume, in some places even kimono or cheungsan. Soft background music may be played. Booths and small round tables are common. Recorded music will be soft and soothing (traditional-instrument music is not uncommon). Frequently the shop is situated so that guests have a view of the street or the beach, as though the place is only a step away from the action; many have table areas with service outdoors and under awnings on the pavement. The emphasis is on quiet, calm, dignity; and public attire tends to be strictly enforced. Fare includes tea and coffee, snacks, cold sandwiches (albeit rarely submarines), soups, no full meals; takeaway orders may be provided. Focus will be on quiet socialising, morning tea, light lunch and afternoon tea, often with high tea served on Sunday afternoons.

Hours may be from 10.30-18.30.

The milkbar
Present in almost every high street, typically with stools at a counter and banquettes or snugs along a wall, the milkbar serves as the rendezvous point for the younger set. Fare includes (and is often limited to) soft drinks, milkshakes, ice cream and light snacks or sandwiches, likely served by attractive young wait staff in cheery costume. Most permit both eat-in and takeaway. In more tourist-centred areas, services may overlap with that of the tea shop.

Dress standards are relaxed (some with mainly local clientéle may permit even private attire), popular music is played over the stereo, and decor tends to be brightly-coloured and intended for rugged use. Hours are typically 10.00 till 20.00, with business booming on Saturdays, after school and during high season.

The kiosk
Found everywhere, the casual walkup food stand is one of the islands’ most popular eating experiences (and most like ‘fast food’ in the West). Fare includes any or all of tuffles, birdies, pizza, tacos, burgers, gyros, various hot or cold sandwiches and ice cream or other desserts, typically offered by way of an overhead billboard and ordered by patrons still on their feet. The kiosk will have both takeaway service and an eating counter, often with stools, and sometimes adjacent umbrella tables (but rarely any wait staff for them). The focus is on snacks, cold drinks and sandwiches in a busy, outdoor environment close to the action on the street, in the arcade or at the beach.

Swimwear and private attire are common. Hours will be aligned with adjacent retailers, typically 10.00-18.00.

The night clubs
The adults-only cocktail lounge, a genteel, sophisticated place typically with live music or other entertainment (rarely risqué) and ballroom dancing, for the evening hours. Often entrance passes are required at the door; these can be had for a nominal fee from most concierges. Table minimums will be applied and may be between £10-30. Dancing, often to live music, is common, as is the mirror ball. Decor will be in dark, muted tones with heavy carpet (for comfort and for quiet). Some clubs provide smokers’ sections. Fare includes drinks and table snacks, either at the bar or via wait staff.

Hours may be from 20.00, rarely earlier, till 2.00 or later. Proper dress absolutely required; some may stipulate semiformal attire.

Some nightclubs will feature gentlemen’s entertainment; but even in tourist areas, most dancing girls and revues will seem bland to most Western and Oriental tastes (i.e., such exhibitions would not appear distasteful to most ladies). Funnily, a nightclub may be well-minded by nearby police, entirely lawless or a law unto itself. The general policy is one of ‘What happens within these walls stays within these walls.’ Tuxedoed staff bouncers are common and will not hesitate to eject or bar admission to the intoxicated troublemaker.

Women are prohibited from approaching the bar alone. As all forms of sex-for-hire are prohibited in the territory, the night club should not be viewed by the visitor as a place to seek or engage prostitutes; and penalties for those approaching women with such offers are severe and dispensed without remorse.

Pursuant to territorial law, no-one under 13 is admitted; and most establishments will refuse unescorted young women under 15.